I could say that I have been to Children's Hospital only once, for a fracture that, was really a bone crush, to get a splint instead of the big, soft, up-the-elbow cast. But if I did, I would be lying. I now have been twice. And I wish that I was happier when I walked away. So this time I am not going to amuse you with embarrassing stories and long, emotional, blasts from the past. I can not find it in me to do so.

I have had an appointment with Children's for awhile, and the long wait was filled with more turbulence. I still can't walk strait, or stop sleeping so much, or even find my appetite on a daily bases. I was relieved that the day was finally here, but as the slight anxiety slipped in, I couldn't distract my self.

Children's had sent me paper work that I had filled out and sent back. Only for us to receive a phone call saying that they didn't have it. So, I got up early and was at Children's by 9:00, after we nearly lost our way. We filled out the paper work by 9:30, and then was too wait until 1:00 for my appointment.

Of course my mom was wanting coffee, but I couldn't keep myself awake and fell asleep on her lap, on the small couch surrounded by the chaos of Children's. When I woke up it was 10:50, and I immediately felt bad that she had too sit there that long while I slept. She assured me that it was ok, and stated that if I was ready we might want some coffee.

So I let her lead the way down to the Cafeteria. She got a Coffee and I had a Chai, and we sat talking, playing sudoku, reading, drawing, and just being together. I couldn't help but wander, 'Will I get what I am looking for? What am I looking for? Is it bad? Or is it- I don't know?' but at that point my most prominent concern was 'Will they really listen?'

Only in the strangest ways. My first impression was 'thank god she seems friendly' and then when she wished to talk to me alone 'Oh Shit'. She really scared me, asking all these questions about things I hardly remember then expecting me to anser fully and with details. Even after, as even my foggy head can recall, we had told her I had memory dysfunction. My poor head could hardly take it, if I wasn't screwed around in circles in my head before, then I was now.

Diagnosis wasn't a big surprise, Fibromayalgia, and a sleep disorder., and high anxiety. And though I am happy I have an awnser, I still feel as if something is missing .But for now I will do as the doctor proscribed.